Why?

Wil just wrote a nice Blog about how he will be spending Thanksgiving this year. That's how it ended, anyway. It started with a Spiritual experience he had while listening to some Christmas music. I'm not going to write a review of his Blog because that's just weird. www.wherethereswil.blogspot.com Go to that link and you can read it for yourself, and you can read the discussion he and I had through his comments section about the Spiritual aspect of the blog. I tried to make the link, you know, a link, but it didn't work.

Wil sort of posed the question about whether or not one believes in Jesus. No, it wasn't that cut and dry, and if you read his blog first (PS, that's why I gave you the link.) then you'd know that. From any and all I've had the pleasure of learning about Jesus Christ, the most exciting and engaging aspect of his life to me, is that he actually lived his life. Many of the figures in the Bible actually existed, not to mention many of the events described, but to me it is fascinating taking the historical fact that Jesus lived among us, and just starting from there. Jesus lived, believe it. Wil was more than likely speaking about believing in what Jesus taught and philosophised, but when I started the comments discussion, I said the question should be, "Do you believe in God?" That's because I was only thinking from an existence stand point. We can prove a man named Jesus Christ existed, but we can't (from a tangible standpoint) prove that God exists.

Which in turn leads to "Do you have to prove that?" No. No you don't. I do believe in God. I do not believe however, that the Universe and everything within, exist because of and for said God. That's just me. I'm not blogging here with the intent to Preach, or to join others for some cause, I'm just speaking my belief. It's my blog, right?

I've attended Catholic church services many times in my life. That's how I was raised. I went to Sunday School for quite some time. But I never found solace in it. I never felt I needed to go, I never felt I wanted to go, I never even felt like being there once I got there. Then, my parents let me stop going (perhaps being forced to go makes an impression, but I'll save that for later.) and our family as a whole stopped going to church, even on the "Church Holidays" of Christmas, and Easter. Then as I grew older, I never even gave going to service a first, second, or third thought. I did however, begin to educate myself about the world around me. I started to learn about different religions, and how others of different religions either get along, or they don't. From all that I learned, I came to one conclusion. I know that I do not exist here to serve a God, and I do not exist here because of a God. Those are pretty bold statements, I know, but if nothing else, I am a realist. I exist here because of simple biology. Some say that's not true, some say to think a little less literally, and some agree.

To those that say I am only here because God wanted me here, I can't help but just grit my teeth, smile and say thank you. What I'm thinking however, is quite different. Are you serious? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding yourself? Do you seriously just live everyday with the blind faith that everything is here because God said so? And I don't even want the questions answered. I don't because even though I am a realist like I said before, I understand what that person means. I wonder if they do, but I'd like to think my mind, my soul, and my being are open enough to not begin an argument and try to translate their message to something useful for me. Now, I know those people aren't crazy, and if they had kids they know very well how a person enters this world. What I find a little off putting is that even after experiencing Nature at its finest, they have the audacity to state that You are You because of God, or that God made You just the way You are.

I've prayed before. And not just the "everybody let's pray" deal in Church either. I mean that I have found myself in a situation or two where I have had to just stop myself, look around, and ask Why? I've been down, and I've felt defeated to the point where I didn't think I could get back up and face the next challenge without assistance. I believe in God, and I believe communication is necessary and plausible, but I also believe that you can get so much more out of it when you feel it. I can't imagine everyone feels a connection that is forced. I don't think it's necessary to just pray everyday, or every Sunday just pray with others in a place of worship. I believe that Faith can serve you best when you feel that connection. Everyone is going to be different. I'm more than certain that most church goers will tell you that they go to church in order to feel that connection. To me though, that's still forcing it.

I'm marrying my beautiful fiance, Janelle, sometime in the next year. Marriage, traditionally, is a very Religious event. In Catholicism it is what's called a sacrament. My Love wants to get married in a Church, and so do I. Her family is Catholic, and attends church regularly. They are very happy people, and I believe their happiness stems from their Faith. Naturally, they would love to see their daughter married in a Catholic church. I don't have a problem there either, because technically I am also a Catholic. The one thing I'm having a hard time with is the service. We recently went to a Catholic wedding, and the one thing that kept nagging at me was what the Priest was saying. He was saying that as husband and wife, the couple embraces the fact that their marriage is a symbol of their commitment to God, and that every time they say "I love you" it means they are saying it to God as well. That's not me at all, and at the risk of speaking out of turn, that's not Janelle either. I am not marrying her because of a commitment to God, I have a commitment to Janelle and our beautiful life ahead. And when I say "I love you," it is because I love HER, not God. I don't know...maybe I'm being too paranoid about it being to literal. I don't want to just have a ceremony like that and not believe it. I don't think that's fair to those who do. This blog wasn't supposed to be about getting married, but it went there as I was going, so there it is.

Why are We here? I don't know. I can tell you what I think. We are here to live and to love. And that's what I'm gonna do. God, if you're carousing the interwebz and come across my blog, thanks for reading. And thanks for the help I've sought. I know I'll ask for it again.