Faceban of the Feeding Breast

I clicked on the ever informative Google News on my less than necessary Blackberry this morning, and I was a little bit surprised to read one of the headline stories in the Tech section.

Aparently, Facebook, the mind numbingly addictive older brother site to MySpace, has decided to rip apart some folks' photo albums, take certain photos, and burn them in a digital fireplace. The photos in question are of Mothers nurishing their children in the most natural way, breast feeding.

Let me just go on record and say that I love breasts. That aside, I really don't want to see a woman breast feeding a baby. I assume that my stance will shift into neutral when I have kids and see my wife taking care of dinner, so to speak, but that doesn't mean that I will have opened the Breast Flood Gates and will want to see other women doing it. Does anyone want to see that?!?

What Facebook has done, is deleted many different pictures that were posted on pages of women breast feeding their babies. These women have amassed in anger and have begun a gathering of women on Facebook who staunchly oppose Facebook's seemingly backwards decision. Facebook claims that the only ones deleted were pictures where too much boob was shown, violating their sexuality and indecency policy. Too much boob is defined by standards as basically showing nips. Ok, I get that. This is Facebook not porn. Facebook spokesman Whatshisname Whogivesashit, (that might be spelled wrong...) says that they are making any and all efforts to keep Facebook safe and secure for all users, including children. On the surface, that sounds all well and good. It does. But as you might expect, I have a few problems with all of this strange nonsense, and even if I don't want to see these pics, (and keep in mind, I DON'T HAVE TO CLICK ON THEM) I actually side with the Women.

Facebook claims that the only pics deleted, like I said, were the ones that violated their policy, and (get this) were "brought to our attention by other users who complain."

WHAT?!?!

So let me get this straight...some Screw Head logs onto Facebook and finds that a "friend" of theirs has posted some new pictures. Ok, they're posted for a reason, let's click and take a look. Ok, someone got a sweater for Christmas, that's nice...oh, look a new puppy! That's cute....family at the table for dinner, blah...wait a minute....what the hell is that? *apalling gasp* HOLY GOD IN HELL IS THAT SANDY BREAST FEEDING THE BABY?!?!?!?! Email Facebook immediately. This is bullshit and indecent!

Ah, the Holidays. Reminds me of "Seinfeld" when Elaine had an unfortunate wardrobe malfuntion on her Christmas Card before the term "wardrobe malfunction" was even coined. But my point is this; who are these mutants who are complaining about these pictures? I just don't understand. You willingly clicked on someone's Album. You willingly looked at the thumbnail of the "offensive" picture, and willingly stared at it long enough to decide you were offended by it. Again, I get the whole breast feeding in public thing. I think it's wrong. I shouldn't have to turn around in the mall and see some woman with an inflated balloon, and a leach on the end of it. That's not what I came to the mall for. But, that picture of breast feeding wasn't piped into your computer against your will. You didn't turn on your monitor and have to see the picture. This is the key difference. As Neo so prophetically put it, "The problem is Choice." People who bitch about the pictures in the first place, have no leg to stand on because they chose to look at the picture. Plain and simple.

Now, I said I sided with the Women here and I do. One woman was quoted in the article as stating that (I won't quote her here because her English was so bad I could hardly read it...) they should take down genuinely near-porn, like pictures of chicks' thong covered asses, or some quiz application like "What Kama Sutra Position Are You?" This makes sense. Not necessarily the pictures, because again, you chose to look at that, but the quiz applications, or any other ad that pops up, you have no control over. Kids don't need to see that quiz, and they don't need to take it.

I do realize that me complaining about people who are complaining, and then complaining about something myself solves nothing and probably just adds high grade fuel to an already out of control fire, like censorship, but I had to.

I'll recap; Breast feeding in public, and pictures of breast feeding- don't wanna see em. Now, narrow it; pictures of breast feeding that someone else took and put in an album that I have to willingly click on and then enlarge to actually see- don't wanna see em. So I won't. No censorship or deletion necessary.


ADDENDUM-
I have since infiltrated the "Hey, Facebook, Breastfeeding is not obscene!" group so that I could show my support for the Women to keep their pictures up, free of the fear of deletion. In doing so, I have actually learned a few things about the breast feeding process. Sort of. I didn't get a how-to-guide or anything. What I learned was just how damn passionate the Moms are about their protected right (in some states. A lot of them actually.) to be able to breast feed in public when needed and not have it be considered obscene, indecent, lewd, or whatever. Earlier in the blog, I stated that public breast feeding was wrong. I'm not sure how I meant that when I wrote it, since I mainly wrote it to set up the humor, but I can say that it is absolutely not wrong. The women are doing nothing wrong. I still don't want to see it, but I don't have to.