Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Faceban of the Feeding Breast

I clicked on the ever informative Google News on my less than necessary Blackberry this morning, and I was a little bit surprised to read one of the headline stories in the Tech section.

Aparently, Facebook, the mind numbingly addictive older brother site to MySpace, has decided to rip apart some folks' photo albums, take certain photos, and burn them in a digital fireplace. The photos in question are of Mothers nurishing their children in the most natural way, breast feeding.

Let me just go on record and say that I love breasts. That aside, I really don't want to see a woman breast feeding a baby. I assume that my stance will shift into neutral when I have kids and see my wife taking care of dinner, so to speak, but that doesn't mean that I will have opened the Breast Flood Gates and will want to see other women doing it. Does anyone want to see that?!?

What Facebook has done, is deleted many different pictures that were posted on pages of women breast feeding their babies. These women have amassed in anger and have begun a gathering of women on Facebook who staunchly oppose Facebook's seemingly backwards decision. Facebook claims that the only ones deleted were pictures where too much boob was shown, violating their sexuality and indecency policy. Too much boob is defined by standards as basically showing nips. Ok, I get that. This is Facebook not porn. Facebook spokesman Whatshisname Whogivesashit, (that might be spelled wrong...) says that they are making any and all efforts to keep Facebook safe and secure for all users, including children. On the surface, that sounds all well and good. It does. But as you might expect, I have a few problems with all of this strange nonsense, and even if I don't want to see these pics, (and keep in mind, I DON'T HAVE TO CLICK ON THEM) I actually side with the Women.

Facebook claims that the only pics deleted, like I said, were the ones that violated their policy, and (get this) were "brought to our attention by other users who complain."

WHAT?!?!

So let me get this straight...some Screw Head logs onto Facebook and finds that a "friend" of theirs has posted some new pictures. Ok, they're posted for a reason, let's click and take a look. Ok, someone got a sweater for Christmas, that's nice...oh, look a new puppy! That's cute....family at the table for dinner, blah...wait a minute....what the hell is that? *apalling gasp* HOLY GOD IN HELL IS THAT SANDY BREAST FEEDING THE BABY?!?!?!?! Email Facebook immediately. This is bullshit and indecent!

Ah, the Holidays. Reminds me of "Seinfeld" when Elaine had an unfortunate wardrobe malfuntion on her Christmas Card before the term "wardrobe malfunction" was even coined. But my point is this; who are these mutants who are complaining about these pictures? I just don't understand. You willingly clicked on someone's Album. You willingly looked at the thumbnail of the "offensive" picture, and willingly stared at it long enough to decide you were offended by it. Again, I get the whole breast feeding in public thing. I think it's wrong. I shouldn't have to turn around in the mall and see some woman with an inflated balloon, and a leach on the end of it. That's not what I came to the mall for. But, that picture of breast feeding wasn't piped into your computer against your will. You didn't turn on your monitor and have to see the picture. This is the key difference. As Neo so prophetically put it, "The problem is Choice." People who bitch about the pictures in the first place, have no leg to stand on because they chose to look at the picture. Plain and simple.

Now, I said I sided with the Women here and I do. One woman was quoted in the article as stating that (I won't quote her here because her English was so bad I could hardly read it...) they should take down genuinely near-porn, like pictures of chicks' thong covered asses, or some quiz application like "What Kama Sutra Position Are You?" This makes sense. Not necessarily the pictures, because again, you chose to look at that, but the quiz applications, or any other ad that pops up, you have no control over. Kids don't need to see that quiz, and they don't need to take it.

I do realize that me complaining about people who are complaining, and then complaining about something myself solves nothing and probably just adds high grade fuel to an already out of control fire, like censorship, but I had to.

I'll recap; Breast feeding in public, and pictures of breast feeding- don't wanna see em. Now, narrow it; pictures of breast feeding that someone else took and put in an album that I have to willingly click on and then enlarge to actually see- don't wanna see em. So I won't. No censorship or deletion necessary.


ADDENDUM-
I have since infiltrated the "Hey, Facebook, Breastfeeding is not obscene!" group so that I could show my support for the Women to keep their pictures up, free of the fear of deletion. In doing so, I have actually learned a few things about the breast feeding process. Sort of. I didn't get a how-to-guide or anything. What I learned was just how damn passionate the Moms are about their protected right (in some states. A lot of them actually.) to be able to breast feed in public when needed and not have it be considered obscene, indecent, lewd, or whatever. Earlier in the blog, I stated that public breast feeding was wrong. I'm not sure how I meant that when I wrote it, since I mainly wrote it to set up the humor, but I can say that it is absolutely not wrong. The women are doing nothing wrong. I still don't want to see it, but I don't have to.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Bring Me 2009.

Christmas 2008 has come and gone. 2009 lies in wait. One week still remains of the historic 2008, and now is the time when all the cliche "year in review" items surface. Sports writers reflect on the year in sports, political writers look back on the last year of weirdness in modern Democracy, and secretaries wax poetic in the company's final Newsletter of the year, commenting on how many barely edible cakes were issued for office parties and birthdays.
This time of year also brings out those whimsical songs of the season. Radio stations that began playing Christmas music on Halloween, finally bust that nut as the apex of their musical scam approaches, and they prepare to return to regular programming.
Personally, I'd say I had a pretty good year. I was able to elude the sadness of Death, unlike last year when both of my Father's parents passed away. My cousin Bill got engaged, my future brother-in-law also got engaged. I've been engaged myself for exactly a year now. My fiance, Janelle, and I continued to grow closer as we got one more year closer to officially intertwining our Lives.
I remember I got an unexpected salary raise at some point in the early spring this year as well. It was the first time I received a raise for seemingly no reason. I was told, it was more or less a cost of living upgrade. Now, that's pretty damn good. The cost of living certainly was on the rise. Gas was approaching loan paperwork status, and my favorite beer climbed closer and closer to too damn much. Thankfully, both seem to have come back down to a reasonable sum, as gas is actually at its lowest price in nearly four and a half years.
We finally upgraded Janelle's transportation as well. Upgrade, in a sense, just meant that we got her a new used car. Her other vehicle was on less than a last leg, and rebuilding and repair just seemed to make less and less sense. Janelle also finally got her first classroom, teaching first grade to the little ones in Dayton. I was extremely happy when she got the call, since being a teacher is something she has been so passionate about for as long as I've known her. She spent untold thousands of American dollars on her education, and hadn't been able to use it for the last four years. She was beginning to reject the idea of teaching all together since she couldn't land a classroom, and her quiet stress was building. I never would have let her quit trying, because Teaching is her dream. Now, she's living her dream, and I couldn't be happier for her.
My cat got another year older, and another year more senile. She's the runt of her litter but you'd never know it. Sure, she's a size or two smaller than most female cats nine years of age, but she still has the fight of a kitten. I say she gets more senile because I like to give her a hard time. A good friend of mine once said that he believes animals understand every word we say to them. They just choose to remain silent. I couldn't agree more. Sure, sometimes you can look Kitty right in the face, tell her she's a greedy, ungrateful, loudly shrieking menace, and what does she do? She turns away and licks her ass. Did she hear me? She has ears, of course she heard me. Then other times, you can look right at her, and say she's a good kitty, and she'll start the purring engine and try to ram your approaching petting hand with her head. She responds in the only way a stubborn cat can at any given moment, and I find it fascinating every time.
All kinds of things, weird or otherwise happened to me, and probably to you too over the last 365 days. There were so many things in the world to talk about, but I really can't bring myself to do that. I will say that our Country succeeded despite pure economic meltdown, and the fervor of yet another war, in bringing about a new Wave. Barack Obama got my vote, and he will be President next month. I truly look forward to seeing what happens in this World now that he will be President. It's one of the most impressive and vital things our Great Nation has managed to pull off in its young career as a Nation. I only hope that traditional, and polished politics don't interfere.
I think that if you can look back on your year and find one thing that can keep you smiling, then that is good enough. I've had plenty of years where I couldn't do that. Here, I've listed a few and quite seriously I'm sure I could come up with more. I've had a good year, and I look forward to so many more. I'm not usually one for resolutions. The only one I have ever really made and took seriously was quitting smoking cigarettes, and here I sit cig free since 2004. I probably won't make any resolutions for 2009, since I don't think I need a drastic change in my life. I might resolve to spend a little less money where I don't need to, but that's about it. I'm happy NOW. And I intend to stay that way. Happy New Year.