"Boos? F*** you!" -Chase Utley, All Star

Chase Utley made a bit of a blunder at the Homerun Derby at Yankee Stadium this past Monday during the player introductions. After his name was called, he was treated to unmerciful boos from the mutants of New York City. His response was the exact quote in the title of this entry, and to it I say that I whole heartedly agree with you, Chase. Fuck New York in a serious way. (That's a little harsh isn't it?) The only problem I have Chase, is that you said that on live television. With America's (desensitized) youth at the helm of the remote. Come on, man. You're better than that.

Was it wrong that you said something like that to people who hail from the cesspool of America? Was it wrong of you to defend your honor as a deserving Major League Baseball All Star? Was it wrong for all of those big headed, little brained, and otherwise inept human beings to boo every player that wasn't on their pathetic city's teams? No(*), no, and yes. (The asterisk after the first "no" is there to denote that it WAS a mistake to do that on friggin tv!!)

Let me get this right out of the way. (Here we go....) I hate New York City. I hate it. Inherently, I hate the Yankees and the Mets. (You'd hate them anyway, you're a Sox fan.) I have my own reasons for wanting to take a huge dump on a city already comprised of it, but for the purposes of this blog, I'll stick with just one (Thank God!) good one; baseball.

I am a Boston Red Sox fan and I am damn proud of it. Out of all one hundred and sixty-two (*groan*) games in a season, there's no question the most entertaining and engaging games are those between the two rivals, Boston and New York. The Yankees have traditionally been the "better" team. (Why'd he put that in quotes?...)For countless years, it was the Yankess who finished on top, and beating Us specifically to get there. As everyone (especially New York!!) knows, that tide has changed in the last four years, and Boston has emerged as the better team (No quotes that time?) and has won two World Championships to New York's zero.

Each team has their own storied and beloved home field. Boston ofcourse has Fenway Park, while the Yankees have Yankee Stadium. Both are icons of the game. The problem is, one of those icons is to be reimagined after this season. Yankee Stadium will be replaced by a new one built just across the parking lot in the Bronx. (Who cares?) As a Baseball fan, I have to say that I am sad to see it go. I've been there once, and despite my feelings for all things New York, I'm very happy I had the pleasure of going. (Is this guy serious?!?!) You cannot call yourself a baseball fan if you don't appreciate the massive amount of history and importance Yankee Stadium carries on it's concrete shoulders. I'm not a sports writer (are you even a writer?) so I won't begin to get into those stories.

I hate you New York, with extreme passion. (Are you gritting your teeth while you type?) Without you though, baseball would not have been the same. It would not have become the sport I love and enjoy to this day. I extend a moment of truce to say that I'm sorry to see your legendary "House That Ruth Built" become the lesser used guest house to the New Yankee Stadium. Why be peaceful and open minded when you assholes (here we go again...) boo every player not a Yankee or a Met? Because I have something you poor bastards never will have. Class. Your team prides itself for having it,(most of them do. I'm lookin at YOU A-Rod) yet you the fans have simply none of it. I say it speaks to the attitude of the City as a whole (weren't you just gonna leave this about baseball?) but what do I know.

I bring this weird ride back to Chase Utley. Bravo my friend. (you don't know the guy dumbass) Just don't do it again on tv! Well, now wait a minute...fuck it. Let's have HBO televise the game. Or the internet. Clearly you can say whatever the fuck you want there! (Here?) I guess the main thing is that the City and I have a hate/hate-not-so-much relationship. Good times, bad times, you know we've had our share. A little more Zep for you, back by popular demand!