Television Nightmare

Right now, not only is it your tomorrow, (You think they'll pick up on the Van Halen reference?) but I'm right in the middle of watching FOX's "Kitchen Nightmares." That is the problem. (Eh?)

Time Warner Cable is gracious enough to give its subscribers the channel BBC America. There have been many shows taken from across the Pond (that's a stupid expression by the way.) and retooled for American television. Examples are "The Weakest Link", "The Office", "Whose Line Is It Anyway?", and most recently, "Kitchen Nightmares". BBC America lets us bloody Americans view some of these shows in their original form. It's not until you've seen both "versions" (what's the quotes for?) of a show that you begin to see glaring and embarrassing differences between the American and the British viewing audience.

I really enjoy the British, and original version of "Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares". If you don't know, it's a show where World Renowned Chef, Gordon Ramsay, goes to restaurants where the business is slow (these places suck) and turns them around (hopefully) and shows the the proprietors the errors of their ways. He remodels the place if necessary, cleans the Hell out of most of them, and usually shows the kitchen staff some great dishes they should add to their menus. Sometimes he changes the menus completely. While watching the Original version, you get to witness most of the restaurant owners embrace the changes with some, but generally very little push back and ego flexing. Gordon has, we'll say a rather blunt method (he yells and swears a lot) of getting across his wealth of knowledge. Ramsay's desire and passion for success is something that transcends the kitchen. It's a good show. Dare I say, a reality show I like. (He really does hate reality tv. Excessively.)

Enter the American Version. I can barely watch it. The only reason I make it to the end of it is because of Gordon. Sadly, however, his screen time is cut considerably from the original. No longer does he narrate, and for some reason they play Millionairesque (there's no way that's a word...) drama-happening music at every Goddamn turn!! (Oh now you got him going...) Drama!!! That seems to be all we care about as an audience. If there isn't some type of ridiculous friction between everyone on screen, then I guess Americans won't watch it. EVERY fucking episode, (whoa!) I'm not kidding has #1. A family owned business (drama when a family works together? Really?!?) #2. An owner or a manager that comes off as the dumbest fucking post ever to enter the business world, and #3. A tearful and obnoxiously predictable ending to the whole thing having everyone praise Holy God Ramsay and how He "saved my family! *sniff* " (Oh shit, I think he just puked...wash your hands before you start typing again, you fiend!) It just really disappoints me as an American when it seems a perfectly good, entertaining and watchable show gets so obviously dumbed down so it can "succeed" (oh, now I get the quotes thing...) on American networks. (Well, it is FOX, mind you.)

Now, obviously this isn't the case with all shows, as The Office is wildly popular, and more importantly, damn funny. It also holds it's own quite well when compared to the British original. Now, I guess I could just stop watching the shows I keep bitching about, but....I don't know.....can I? Can I really blame anyone when It's Nobody's Fault But Mine? (Nice...didn't think he'd squeeze it in.)